The Secret Life of a Dominatrix

Recently, I had the privilege of collaborating with the amazing people at The Good Guyde on a video targeted at debunking certain widely held perceptions about professional dominatrices. The following is the fruit of their labour, with a little input from me. ;)

I wasn’t able to embed a Facebook video in my website, thus had to create a youtube channel and host the video there instead. However, please do your part and view/like/share/comment on the original Facebook post so the video gets the traction it deserves.

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There was plenty more to the interview that got cut. However, I think they did a great job at selecting only the best soundbites to achieve their objective. I was actually pretty long-winded in responding to the street interviews and the questions asked of me by the interviewer, so I’m quite impressed at how concise they made me sound!

I also really enjoyed acting out the cut scenes with my boyfriend. He was such a cooperative model that night. The puppy play scene was my favourite one of the night. Seeing him in full gear and embracing the role of a puppy warmed the cockles of my heart. I couldn’t resist showering him with pets and scritches. I was worried he would be embarrassed getting into role in front of such a large audience (about 6-7 vanillas) but he was such a good sport.

All in all, this was a good experience and I am very grateful to The Good Guyde for their expertise and professionalism in ensuring the entire shoot went without a hitch. They were extremely fast with the post editing too. They sent the first cut to me within 24 hours of the shoot. What a feat!

What did you think of the video? Let me know in the comments.

The Stillness of Being

C is mummified in saran wrap, and is sporting a full head padded hood, nipple clamps pulled taut and pegs on his toes. What a champion!

C is mummified in saran wrap, and is sporting a full head padded hood, nipple clamps pulled taut and pegs on his toes. What a champion!

C has always struck me as being a rather reticent man. He is a man of very few words, both in and out of session. Often, I have wondered after our play whether he enjoyed himself or not. His answer is always a simple ‘yes’. Yet, he keeps returning for more, so I suppose I must be doing something right.

Prior to today’s session, I had C in chastity for three full days and nights. Each day, I had him complete a simple task that took him no more than half an hour. On day one, he was tasked to watch porn with his prostate massager buzzing away in his ass. On day two, he was to write lines with his prostate massager buzzing away in his ass yet again. Finally, on day three, he was to use his prostate massager to vibrate his cock cage and edge thrice. Admittedly, I had assumed that it wouldn’t take him longer than thirty minutes to edge thrice, but it did. The good boy kept at his task for an hour before succeeding at edging thrice while caged.

It should not be any surprise that C was hot and bothered when he arrived for his session today. He had requested that sensory deprivation be one of the things we do today, and I was happy to comply. It is one of my favourite kinks, after all!

Red and white clothes pegs adorn his toes. What a patriot. ;)

Red and white clothes pegs adorn his toes. What a patriot. ;)

The wartenburg wheel on his sole had him trying his best to wriggle his feet out of my reach.

The wartenburg wheel on his sole had him trying his best to wriggle his feet out of my reach.

I wrapped him up nice and tight in saran wrap and laced him up in a full head padded hood. I was feeling a little bit playful today so I decided to go to town on his feet, something I haven’t done very much with C before. I wasn’t sure how he would take to foot torture, but he seemed to love having his exposed extremities tickled and tortured. And for me, it was such a delight watching him moan and struggle futilely. It gave me such a rush to know that I had him so completely under my control.

What a mess C made! Look at all that precum!

What a mess C made! Look at all that precum!

When I was finally done with his feet, I cut out a hole around C’s cock and was amazed to see the amount of precum he had produced - yet another testament to just how much he enjoyed having me tease and tickle and torture his feet. Although I was incredibly tempted to send him home still caged, I decided not to be a mean mistress and uncaged him for his reward. I can be nice when I want to.

I thoroughly enjoyed my session with C today, so much so that I was inspired to write about it.

Do you think I should start blogging about my sessions? Let me know in the comments section below. And if you’re one of my submissives and you’d like me to write about our play time, let me know and I’ll make sure to document our scene.

Birthday Shenanigans

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My Domme Wife, Ms Aubrey and I celebrated our birthdays about a week ago. We are both August babies and we make it a habit to have a joint celebration annually. We’ve kept this tradition for perhaps five years now.

In attendance were three couples. Not all three are female-led, including mine. My partner and I switch from time to time, but he mostly leads. We had a deal, however, that all three men would be caged for the duration of the dinner.

This “deal” was huge for my boyfriend because he has never been caged for more than five minutes before. I know my subs will not believe me, but I’m not kidding. The only time my boyfriend has worn a cage was when he allowed me to put one on him for a quick photograph. The moment I had my picture, he insisted I take it off.

The entire dinner (including traveling time) took 5 hours. The boy was actually a pretty good sport for most of the night, but in the last hour, he probably would have broken the cage off if he could. He whined a little towards the end, mostly when he needed to go to the bathroom but didn’t want to pee with the cage on. Of course I made him go anyway.

So here’s a picture of my very sporting boyfriend giving me the best birthday present… Well okay, not quite. He’s also taking me to Bali next week. I’m looking forward to the sun, sand and sea.

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A Strong Mind

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Recently, a regular client who is both a good submissive and friend spoilt me with a year’s membership to one of the top mixed martial arts schools in Singapore. I was very excited about starting classes at this school because it is quite popular for its Brazilian jiu-jitsu (BJJ) programme and this is a form of martial arts I’ve always had an interest in undertaking. A friend who trained in BJJ for a few years described it as a sport that fortifies you not just physically, but also mentally. And as a Pro Domme, mental and physical fortitude is extremely important.

I’ve always taken an interest in fitness. My typical week contains at least one weights training session with a personal trainer, one to two online yoga classes (I like Alo Yoga), 30 minutes of cardio (typically a jog/run), and one to two 25 minute HIIT workouts. I like to keep active because I have a love for good food, and it is important I exercise in order to maintain my figure that you all adore. BJJ has been a really nice addition to my current regime.

While I used to practise martial arts when I was younger, I’ve never learnt anything like BJJ. I took Taekwondo for a few years in my late teens. Shortly after, I changed course for Muay Thai, a sport I trained in for many years. Both Taekwondo and Muay Thai are forms of martial arts with a focus on striking though, and are very different from BJJ where the focus is on grappling/wrestling. BJJ is a little bit like Japanese Jiu-Jitsu or Judo, and plays heavily on gaining an advantage over your opponent and forcing them into submission, something I really really like.

A friend of mine described BJJ as being very similar to chess, and I now understand why he said so. Every week, we are taught different types of moves, from takedowns to chokeholds. For about five to ten minutes at the end of each class, we are paired up and asked to spar. It is like a game of chess, pulling up the move that makes the most sense at any given point in time to gain advantage over my opponent. It requires a fair bit of mental strategy on TOP of physical dexterity. What a challenge!

It’s only been about a fortnight since I started lessons in BJJ, and already I have learnt a handful of moves I can incorporate into my sessions. If I’d known how useful this would be to my profession, I’d have taken it up earlier! That said, I am truly grateful to my submissive MV for his generous birthday gift. It was incredibly thoughtful and demonstrates a desire to better my life. Thank you, Sub MV!

The Perks of a Dedicated Play-space

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I’ve always valued the importance of a dedicated play-space, one that both my clients and I can come to appreciate as a safe haven where we can live out our fantasies, no matter how exotic or extreme. Since mid 2018, I opened my home up to sessions as I did not find hotel rooms conducive for play. I wanted to provide a personal touch to my sessions and I really liked having easy access to all my toys and equipment, some of which are too bulky and heavy to lug to hotel rooms. Also, my condominium was discreet and that was a huge plus point for my clientele.

There were, however, plenty of things I did not like about sessioning out of my home. For starters, my apartment was tiny and space was a constraint. It never seemed to bother my clients, but I always felt I could be more creative if I had the luxury of more space. Then, there was no denying that it was a home. I was forced to blindfold my clients when they were strung up to my ceiling hook because otherwise their attention would be on the clutter in my kitchenette rather than on the scene! Finally, I adore my kitties, as my regulars will attest, but they can be such pains at times, especially when the sessions featured rope or my single tail. Whee!!! Flying single tail - must catch!

Enter May 2019. I have successfully moved my business into a very conveniently located and private play-space. For the past few weeks, I have been working hard on making this a possibility. I wanted my play-space to be playful and welcoming with a personal touch. It needed to look and feel like me, so that clients entering My space would recognise they were sharing in something that I both valued and held dear. For that purpose, I decked the room out in colours that I find sexy and cheerful, brought all of my toys and equipment over from my home, and procured even more fun things, such as a wooden horse and a fucking machine. :) A lovely friend/client of mine is even building a St. Andrew’s Cross for me. How amazing is that?

In the past week, I have had a number of sessions in my new play-space and I’ve found it to be incredibly conducive for play. It is spacious, clean, and decked out with fun things to augment my scenes. Clients have professed that they adore my play-space and consider it a safe space where they can express themselves freely. I keep it free of distractions and this allows both me and my clients to focus and be present during the scene.

On topic of fun furniture, toys and equipment, I am really quite happy with my collection. Of course, there is still room for it to grow and I will be making it a point to pick up some interesting pieces when I visit Berlin and Paris in June. If you’re curious to know what my collection includes, you can visit this page. I keep it updated with pictures and an ever growing list.

The best part about having a dedicated play-space is that it allows me to tailor experiences that are creative and fun for my clients. With so much space and fun furniture, toys and equipment on hand, the possibilities are boundless. What are you waiting for?

The Beauty of Surrender

I received a beautifully written note of appreciation from a long-time client and friend after a very indulgent double domination session with my lovely girlfriend Ms Aubrey.

It moved me to read how what went on during the session has affected him. Indeed, I do see what I do as a form of therapy. I enjoy sending my clients out the door a whole lot happier and more relaxed than when they first walked in.

Many tell me that seeing me gives them the opportunity to put aside their troubles and not have to make a single decision for a span of an hour or two. This clears their heads and prepares them to face the world again.

I love my job! I’m sharing a short excerpt from the note for my readers. Does this resonate with you?

I think over time I have started to understand the use of pain as a means of going into a state of surrender and sub space. I mean it's less painful if I relax into the pain. At the same time it requires trust and surrender. It's weird but it puts me in a state of submission and I'm getting hard just talking about it now.

Another powerful experience for me was when both you and Aubrey teased that slutty and wanton side of me. It's a part of me that I don't get to express in my life […] so I think over time I have a demeanour and composure that seems calm and unruffled. […]

In a way I have gotten used to being in charge and having power in my daily role. Suddenly sinking and surrendering into pain, going into a submissive frame and trusting both of you as I know you both are adept at your craft.

And then being teased and encouraged to express a more wanton and slutty side of me. I mean like most men I crave secretly but society always teaches us how to behave. So it's like an awakening to be slutty, wanton and express it. It's embarrassing as well and I guess is part of the humiliation. […] Think I went deep. […]

I don't scene much and in a way I'm always after quality than quantity. With both you and Aubrey I have never surrendered more deeply. Think you both explore my psyche and create a space whereby I do things I would never normally do. I'm thankful for it. It's rare because it's beyond just the physical. It's more psychological and emotional. Which is profound for me.

Just so you know, Ms Aubrey is available for double domination sessions with me upon request. Ms Aubrey used to pro domme with me in the past and our clients have always said that we work wonderfully together. Ms Aubrey is sensual and very much a predator in the bedroom. If you’d like to experience this for yourself, just ask. Tributes apply, of course.

A Taste for the Taboo: Dark Age Play

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I had a very interesting session today. I am normally the one to introduce new things to my clients, but today was one of firsts for me. (Thanks, Z!) I’ve always wanted to have a dark age play session, but there haven’t been many enquiries, also because I’ve never advertised that this is something I have interest in. It just seemed so niche I never attempted to market it as a kink offering. But today, I had that chance!

Z has chatted with me on and off for about three months now, and I was almost certain that he would never come see me for a face-to-face session. He seemed well spoken and very clear about what he liked; however, I felt that he might not be able to make the move to see a Pro Domme in person to fulfil his kink. Many like to engage in the process of negotiation, perhaps because it makes their kink seem more ‘real’, but drop out just before it is time to confirm the session. I can’t say I blame them. Some of my clients say they’re hooked after seeing me, and have to see me regularly for their fix. ;) Anyway, back to Z. He took the plunge and came to see me today, and boy am I glad he did!

So, I play Z’s babysitter. His mother has left him in my care for an hour while she’s gone off to get a facial nearby. Z takes a shower, and comes out of the bathroom in a cute white diaper and a comfortable grey t-shirt. He looks positively adorable! (Note: Dark age play does not have to include diaper play, but in Z’s case, it does.) Now, I LOVE diaper play. It is such a turn on to know that I have control over someone’s bathroom usage and can have them spend time in piss-soaked diapers for my amusement. It’s even better when said someone enjoys it so much they tent their diaper.

Now, of course Z gets a scolding for tenting his diaper. After all, little boys shouldn’t be getting all hot and bothered, should they? I feed him bottle after bottle of warm milk, all the while rubbing his soft belly that’s starting to bulge from all the liquids he’s consuming. Occasionally, my hand strays to his diaper and inner thigh, where I check on the state of his erection. Of course, he’s still hard, and I tell him that I have to punish him for it… by locking his pee pee up in a cage before diapering him again. It becomes increasingly uncomfortable as his erection strains against the cage, but he’s a good boy and bears it for me. He even pisses himself twice while sucking on a pacifier, making his diaper nice and soggy.

How this scene ends is up to your imagination, but suffice to say that Z left one very happy little boy. And I suppose I can now say for sure that dark age play is something I like and want to do more of in future. So, those of you with mummy/babysitter fantasies, don’t be shy. I’ll be waiting.

My Pro Domme Philosophy: Mind Over Matter

Ms Amber, a professional Asian Dominatrix based in SIngapore, with her slave

Professional Domination is, to me, a craft. Over the years, I’ve learnt that what my submissives want is not just to have certain things done to them, but for me to delve beneath the surface and understand what actually makes them tick, and then to utilise this newfound knowledge to beguile them, break them and possess them. Therein lies the beauty of domination. It is not about how well one can wield a whip or give a foot job, but in how expertly one can master the mind.

Many of my submissives crave utter helplessness. They want to truly feel as though they’re my play things, for me to do with as I please. Their likes/dislikes are not important to me, and they are mere objects in my presence, existing only for my amusement. The key to fulfilling such a fantasy, to me, starts with the mind. Yes, I do often use strict immobilisation to convince them that they have no semblance of choice, but this, without the mind play, is weak. I feed them their new truth through my words which paint a story so believable they fall into my spell.

I think that many overlook the power of the imagination when fuelled by words whispered into an eager ear. I thoroughly enjoy drawing forth emotions such as helplessness, vulnerability, worthlessness and humility in my submissives, and I do it not just by controlling their actions, but more importantly, their minds.

I’ll end off this virgin post with a very sweet letter of appreciation written by a lovely submissive recently:

Dear Miss Amber,

Thank you for the amazing session today! I really like how you conduct your sessions, it is a fresh experience. The small little things like eye contact as well as the little assurances [...] really relaxes me and makes trusting you very easy. The feeling of helplessness was a real turn on for me, and hopefully for you too. I hope I was fun to session with and I look forward to sessioning with you again if the circumstances permit. I’d like to add that you have a very alluring voice, that completely puts me at ease while following your instructions.
— Slave M3